So, now that you all know why it is that I decided to blog, and a little about my initial intentions for going to work in the oil-field, I can finally let you know how it played/ is still playing out.
Day One working for O'Ryan was not a good day for me. I arrived at seven in the morning at the location (a football field sized piece of earth, literally in the middle of nowhere West Texas). I was excited about the people I'd meet and the chance I'd have to get to share the Gospel with others. We were moving the rig to another "location" that day to start on drilling another well. Each well is drilled to a depth of about 5,000 ft. Well, at least the wells we drilled were. They usually take about 2.5- 3 weeks to drill. And when we're done, we take everything apart and move it somewhere else and repeat the process. Moving the rig was the longest work load I'd ever had in my young life. My first day we worked 15 hrs straight. I hated my job that day, and seriously didn't think I was cut out for that kind of labor. I found myself thinking, "I have a college degree! What the heck am I doing out here?" I thought mostly about quitting, and there was one point where I thought that I was for sure not going to return the next day. The rig move lasted about three days, and at the end of every day I found myself thinking about quitting. Somehow, I would find the will to make it out the next day to log another 12 hr day. After the rig move I enjoyed seven days off, in which I mostly thought about how much I didn't want to be working in the oil-field. I made close to one thousand dollars for three days of work, and that literally brought me back the next week.
You see, I knew God was with me, but I didn't yet have the heart for anyone but myself when I was working. I couldn't see past my own self-pity to know that while I was there I was to share God's Love every second I could. The next week I got to meet my crew (5 people including myself). I immediately started thinking about which one of the guys I would start to build a relationship with. We piled into the truck on our first day back from days off and I introduced myself to Nate, Randy, and Derek. My uncle was our driver and our boss. His name is Pete. I started to ask the guys questions about where they were from, and about how long they had worked in the oil-field. After we arrived at work I started talking to Randy a little more, and he just came right out and asked if I was a christian. I told him I was, and he confessed to believing in Jesus as Savior. I thought to myself, "This is the guy. He's the one I'm supposed to Love while I was working out there." We talked just a little while about our faith and he immediately made himself transparent. We hit it off well, and although I got along with the other guys, I wanted to devote my conversations to Randy. He was a big guy (6'4"), and old too (47). I was so excited, because I knew that the oil-field was a barren land, and what do you know... first rattle out of the box and I had already met someone who shared the same faith.
Randy and I talked about his life and my dreams. He told me to continue on with my goals, and about how he wished he would have made better decisions when he was younger. He also admitted to me his drug addiction, but how he had it mostly under control. He admitted to using cocaine, but said that it was only every so often, and not daily. He mentioned that as if there was no contradiction with the faith he has confessed to, and I was initially shocked at how desensitized he was to the use of drugs. I would soon learn that cocaine and most other drugs were common in the oil-field, sometimes becoming a way of life. I hadn't met one guy out there who hadn't done hard drugs (cocaine, etc.). Most of them had served time in prison, some even for 10+ years. I had never been in a workplace with such people, much less even known that many criminals. It was looking as though it was going to be harder to start the ministry I had in mind. I was discouraged, and coupling that with my hatred for the type of work I was doing, it was hard to find the desire to Love! My prayer life consisted of, "Thank you God for getting my through the day" and "Show me how I can be used out here". I felt as though I was in a land that I couldn't affect in a noticeable way. I was in over my head. But at least I had a "Christian" friend already, right?
Three days after we started work as a crew, Randy (my brother in Christ) quit in the middle of the night. Our boss (not my uncle) had upset him and Randy felt belittled. He sat in the truck the rest of the night while the rest of us worked through the pouring rain to get the rig ready to be moved yet again. We all rode home in silence, and I watched my only friend until that point drive off, knowing more than likely I would never see him again. The situation only got worse once I realized how a dark situation seemed to be loosing another light, no matter how insignificant. I felt confused, but clung to the fact that God would still use me in this grim place.
I learned as much as I could about rig work from the crew, and grew more with Derek (Our Chain Hand). He was so very funny, always cracking jokes and laughing at my inexperience. Derek and I began to grow closer, even asking each other about relationships and family. One day while eating lunch a couple of the guys were making fun of the fact that I wanted to wait until engagement or marriage before I kissed again. Derek asked me, "Are you a Christian or what?" I said no! And told him that I didn't like the negative connotation that went along with the term, but that I was in love with Jesus and believed that He lived, died and rose again, so that whoever believed would be saved (Romans 10:9). He said that there was a time in his life in which he was drug free for eight months. Devoted to his wife and kids, and how during that time he had never lived a better life. He told me how he missed those days, and he went on about the church he attended in Amarillo that changed his life for a brief time. He went on to tell me how his life didn't stay that way for much longer, and how he was lured back into drug use and infidelity, and how he had now been away from his family for over a month. I immediately thanked God in my heart, because I felt as though He had shown me that Derek was going to be the person I was to build up and learn to Love over the next 6 months. After all, Nate and I were growing further apart as our personalities clashed a little too often.
Over the next week I would learn more about Derek's life as he would learn about mine, and we shared many Godly moments, which I would later find had been insincere. I started to try and get him plugged back into the church he had admitted changed his life. One time I even brought my iPod with sermons I had downloaded from his church. He was so excited, and for the next three days all the way to work (1hr commute), Derek would listen to his old Preacher speak. He really did seem to be more contemplative during those days. On the fourth day Derek didn't show up for work, and it wasn't long before he was fired and replaced. I didn't understand how I had already, in only two weeks of work, seen two different people who I felt God had called me to, simply vacate the vicinity. It was depressing, even more so than I already felt, and my relations with the only other crew member we dwindling. I knew Nate was far from God, and he was still unashamedly using drugs. I thought to myself, that God couldn't expect me to chase after his heart. He was too far-gone I remember thinking.
It was then that God opened my eyes, and only then did I really start to grow. I saw more than ever my own depravity, and realized that if I was going to be as committed to advancing the gospel as I once thought I was, I was going to need a serious change of heart and perspective. Over the next two months God grew my faith, and most of my blog from here on out will be about Nate. We have had our ups and downs, but mostly I have learned that my idea of Love was flawed, and that God's Love is more than I could have ever imagined it could be. Stayed tuned in, and my prayer is that you will see through my relationship with Nate that we are capable of growing closer to God when give so very much of ourselves.
Rafael
1 comment:
wow.
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